DESPAIR
II
ICHIGO'S SIDE
Shit, my head hurts. And other parts of me hurt too.
See, this time my body was on the line of fire and happened to get some severe beating before Kon could do something to prevent it. The bastard is lucky Rukia took him away from me the minute I was back in my body, or else I would've beaten the shit out of him. More precisely, the stuff out of him. Fucking Kon.
And now in top of all that, the wonderful, sweet-smelling pillow my head was resting on, has suddenly dissapeared. Great.
Okay, where am I?
I open my eyes slowly and spy my surroundings. I'm laying on a soft couch, in a little room that looks almost empty save for an old chair and a table, both covered with lacy things. Figures. I'm at Ishida's home. Ishida of the weird, girly hobbies, Ishida of the glossy black hair and the gorgeous blue eyes...
Who isn't anywhere to be seen, by the way. But he must be somewhere in the vicinity, 'cause I suspect that wonderful, sweet-smelling pillow my head was resting on, was Ishida's lap. And I'm flabbergasted to think he let me get so close.
I manage to sit and get on my feet without feeling my head splitting in two and take a look around... man, this place is tiny! There's an open door that leads to a tiny, tidy bedroom with only a bed, a chair, a table and a bookcase; then there's a kitchenette and a closed door, I guess it's the bathroom.
Then I hear a strange noise coming from that closed door and I don't want to think what it may be, 'cause it sounded a lot like a moan. A moan that seemed to have my name on it. Whoa! Down, boy!
Well, maybe he's hurt... there's only one way to know for sure.
"Hey, Ishida! What are you doing in there, you freak?" I know my voice sounds annoyed as ever, but I start to worry when after a long minute there's no response coming from the other side of the door. "Ishida, you alright?"
"Yes." Finally an answer from Mr. Prissypants, and I release the breath I didn't realize I was holding. "I'm taking a shower."
"And I'm going home."
I don't want to, really. For some reason I feel I can't leave him alone. It takes him two full minutes before he gives me an answer, just when I'm steaming and about to get the hell out of here.
"You can stay the night if you want." Well, and that's a surprise...
Half an hour later I'm on the couch again, clean, in a pair of borrowed pants and with an extra blanket in case I get cold. Ishida has gone to bed without closing the door and I feel I can smell him from here. Idiot. Of course I can smell him, I have his pants and his blanket, and I'm on his couch, surrounded by his girly things.
I can't supress a giggle thinking this is the only way I'm going to get into Ishida's pants...
Because yeah, I've found recently that I want to get in his pants... and in his heart. I'm doomed because I have the hots for Mr. Weird, Wacky, Wonderful Ishida. Mr. Uryuu You-Ain't-Gettin'-Any-Of-This Ishida.
Fuck. I can feel my cock stiffening, and the flood of feelings that come with it. You can say it's okay, I'm a teenager after all. A normal, inexperienced teenager who has had unemotional wet dreams here and there, apathetic wankings from time to time; things that frankly, had been about as significant as pissing. But this...
For the first time in my life I understand that old saying about how the brain is the biggest erogenous - whoa, big word here - zone in the human body. I'd always thought it was a load of bullshit, until now, with my brain in full-out rebellion. I've kept telling myself for the last months to just quit thinking about Ishida like that, and it seems the more I tell myself that, the less obedient my brain is. Not to mention my body.
The Quincy is off limits. Oh yeah, way off limits: do not trespass, do not touch, do NOT fantasize. He looks as pure as the driven snow, and he acts like he hasn't lustful thoughts about women, much less guys, much less anyone resembling good ol' me.
And here comes the big problem: we fight together, we are partners... sort of. Getting the hots for someone I work with is NOT a good idea, 'cause half of the time I'm too busy thinking about him to really pay attention to my duties.
He's so close right now.
I could get closer. I promise I won't touch. I'll just listen to his breathing, to his snores if he does so, and maybe go the the door and peek in...
Nah, I don't have the balls to do it, though I've already let my head - and my dick - get this far out of line, that all I have to do is think about Ishida sleeping and I start to get hot and bothered.
I shift sideways on the couch, trying to ease the sudden pressure in my crotch.
I'm a sicko. Certifiably unhinged. But damn it all, I can't stop myself. Even now, when I'm tired, and pissed off at myself and life in general, all I have to do is picture Ishida rolling over in his bed, radiating warmth, mouth half-open, feet and maybe chest bare, with his black hair all mussed on the pillow, not tame and prissily combed like it usually is.
I close my eyes and imagine waking him, burying myself closer, needing, seeking, kissing him hot and hungry, laying with him in his bed, and the pulse in my cock jerks into doubletime. I'm so hard it almost hurts. I can't help it and finally touch myself, playing with my own nipples, pinching them lightly then scraping my nails across them. I shiver and almost moan imagining it's Ishida doing this to me.
Yeah. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up first...
I'm breathing as a racehorse here, I need release. At the same time, something in my chest wrenchs the other way -- impossible, I can't, not here, not with him sleeping so close...
But now my hands are already fumbling with the fly, working down the zipper and easing the material around my cock, trying to squirm without making noise, frantically shoving his pants until they are past my thighs and I could sigh in something resembling relief. But I'm not relieved, no way.
Now I'm picturing Ishida right beside me on this couch, hugging me, and I can feel my hands working inside the back of his pants and boxers. Yeah. Oh yeah. Ishida's ass feels good, solid but soft, skin warm and silky; I squeeze and hear his sort of grunt - the hottest thing I've ever heard -, feel his hips rocking into mine...
I stretch out my legs, separating them so I could reach my balls. I cradle them in one hand, as the other slowly strokes the full length of my cock. I imagine blue eyes and straight black hair, firm hands and hard cock. I imagine kissing Ishida again, imagine Ishida sinking to his knees and taking my cock in his pretty little mouth.
I groan and thrust into my own hand, imagining the textured warmth of Ishida's tongue, and holy fuck, I haven't had a blowjob in my life but I know how wonderful it would feel if he gave one to me. My strokes become faster and I squeeze my cock roughly as I imagine myself naked on my bed, on my stomach, Ishida in between my legs, pounding into me, and it's all over, ladies and gents.
I arch off the couch and grunt my release, biting my own shoulder to avoid crying out Ishida's name as I come.
Now my hand is wet and I continue to stroke, riding out my orgasm until I have to stop and suck in air, greedily. I open my eyes and wait until bright spots stop dancing in my vision, crumbling myself into the soft cushions of the couch.
Then I simply lay here, semen dropping down my fingers, staining my pants and - oh, geez - Ishida's couch upholstery. Fuck, he's gonna kill me. Gotta new problem to solve, now, but I don't think I could move if my life depended on it. And I still want him.
My cock twitches a bit. Monster.
"Don't even think about it," I mutter darkly.
I let go, raise my head, and now I can see Ishida standing on the threshold of his bedroom. Holy shit. Too noisy, Kurosaki. You've been too damn noisy. How long has he been standing there?
He's watching me with that unreadable expression in his face. I can't tell if he's just pissed or downright mad at me, but I couldn't care less at this moment.
He's looking at me; really, really looking at me, and it feels like the first time I laid my eyes on him, like the first time I felt his eyes boring on me, the first time I felt his presence near even though I didn't know him.
Fuck, how I love this guy.